It's Not for Everyone...Troupe Life

So I received an email from a girl looking to move to Cincinnati from Indiana.  She was inquiring about auditions.  I immediately asked if she had seen us perform, and what her dance background consisted of.  The response I received was:

"I have an extensive dance background. I'm trained in the foundations (ballet, jazz  hip hop, etc) I've performed burlesque, though not as often as I'd have liked, and I'm training in pole dancing at an intermediate /advanced level. I have seen a few videos on YouTube of the group."

1)  "Foundations" in 3 forms of dance does not an "extensive dance background" make.
2)  So...no.

I then sent her our Expectations and Guidelines to look over before we went any further.  This is what they consist of:

Cin City Burlesque

Expectations, Rules and Guidelines

Revised – 8/22/2015

1.Group rehearsal time runs from 11-1on Sundays for groups, plus additional time on your own to memorize your choreography.  Ginger cannot spend those precious 2 hours of group time trying to help you remember choreography – you MUST do that on your own time. Girls must be available from 10 a.m. – 2 p.m. on Sundays, if we need to run long.

2. Girls must be on time and READY TO DANCE (i.e., shoes on, warmed up, and mouths zipped) at exactly those times with NO exceptions unless previously cleared with Ginger.  For every minute you are late, you will take the entire flight of stairs up and down.

3. If you miss any Sunday rehearsals 3 weeks before a large show you’ll be pulled from the group routines, and possibly your solo. This includes tech (if you’re required to be there – singing numbers and/or group numbers) and dress rehearsal

4. If you are slacking off in rehearsal, Ginger reserves the right to send you home.  If you are sent home, it will count as an absence.  Do not bring your personal issues to rehearsal or performance.

5. You are expected to “check out” for every group number in our arsenal.  If we are working on a number or numbers that you have already “checked out” of you may skip that rehearsal without being penalized.  You will be required to come to rehearsal 4 weeks prior to dancing it at a booking to “audition” it, and will, if picked to dance said number at that upcoming booking,  need to come to every rehearsal leading up to said booking.

6. Every girl is responsible for purchasing and maintaining/replacing as needed the following: 1 nude and 1 black pair of ballroom shoes, 1 nude and 1 black pair of fishnets, their own RELIABLE brand of pastie adhesive, eyelashes and eyelash adhesive, and bra and underwear for all numbers. These things can be acquired over time, but MUST be acquired. This is non-negotiable.

7. You are not paid for rehearsal time.

8. You are expected to do some of your own costume and prop work, with the guidance of Ginger.

9. We will supply you with the “sparkle” for your costuming, but you must apply it.

10. If you borrow a prop or costume from another girl or from CCB, you must return it the following rehearsal unless told to hold on to it by Ginger.  For every rehearsal you forget it, you will be charged $1 off your next paycheck.

11. You must be consistently available on Friday and Saturday nights for bookings, knowing that Ginger will contact you ASAP when a booking comes in, and no later than 2 weeks prior to said booking.

12. ALL burlesque bookings (i.e., you strip, or use your CCB name, the CCB brand or ANY CCB routines, including your solos) MUST go through Ginger.  If you book an outside gig, it may NOT be burlesque in nature.  It may be belly, hoop, ballroom…but NOT burlesque.  If a “friend” or acquaintance wants to book you for burlesque for a show, they MUST contact Ginger directly.  She will handle the booking.  If someone is requested by said booker, we will try to accommodate them as best as possible.

13. Ginger will notify girls immediately when receiving a possible booking via text.  You are all expected to respond yes or no, and she will determine whether or not to take the booking depending on who is available.  If she books it, she will let you know where, when, what you’ll be dancing, and how much pay you will receive.

14. You must answer all texts from Ginger within 24 hours.  She cannot do her job otherwise.

15. Pay will vary from show to show. We only dance for free for charity events.  Pay is always based on the number of routines you perform, and the type of routines you perform.  Solos pay the most, but group numbers are what the audience remembers and loves the most.  The more difficult and longer the routine, the more the pay.

16. All payment comes through Pink Productions, LLC.

17. Ginger will always try to rotate who dances at bookings, but only those who are stage ready get to go on.  The more time and effort you put in, the more likely you are to get booked, and the more money you’ll earn.

18. Ginger has the final say in who dances what for each booking.

19. All choreography, music, costuming, and portrayals must go through Ginger first.

20. Girls must be willing to go down to pasties and g-strings, although not every number requires it.

21. Each girl must have at least 2 solos on the opposite ends of the spectrum…i.e. one “classic” and one “neo”, one “fast”, and one “slow”, one “silly” and one “sultry”. Etc.  Solos can be self-choreographed, or you must find time to get with Ginger to work on choreo.  You must “check out” of your solo at least 4 weeks prior to using it.

22. Pink Productions, LLC  DBA Cin City Burlesque retains all rights to your stage name, character traits, choreography, costumes, portrayals and images.

23. You will have one or two specific stage “looks” for hair and makeup determined by Sugar Plum.  You must be able to replicate this on your own.  Sugar or Ginger can help you “check out” of this.

24. We use stage names only at bookings, and your friends and family need to know they must do the same.

25. You are expected to work “Shot and a Kiss” at some bookings. 

26. During “downtime” at bookings, you are expected to mix and mingle with the crowd, not sitting in the corner with your sisters, or looking at your phone.  You can post photos online and update your status while backstage.  No wallflowers.

27. Be gracious to our fans (particularly our female fans!).  Be friendly and approachable, but be PROFESSIONAL.   Remember – we are ALWAYS on stage!

28. Always carry your business cards.

29. No more than 1 drink prior to a performance.  If at an appearance, no more than 1 drink per 80 minutes.  Remember – we are a good time, but we are NOT sloppy drunk college girls.  You are on the clock.

30. Any friends or family that attend the show must understand that you are there to work, not to hang out with them.  They must give you space, and they must refer to you by your stage name.  If Ginger thinks that you are neglecting your work because of your friends or family, she will ask you to ask them to leave.

31. You will be provided one free CCB t-shirt.  Some appearances will require that you wear it, and some will require more of a pinup/rockabilly look.  You are required to find suitable clothes to be approved by Ginger for those appearances.

32. You will develop a Facebook page dedicated to your stage persona, and keep it up weekly. 

33. Pink Productions, LLC is not responsible for any injuries sustained during rehearsal or performance.

34. RESPECT the reputation of Cin City Burlesque.  We’ve spent years building it.

35. RESPECT the time and money Ginger puts into this to allow you a platform to perform.

36. RESPECT your sisters. If you have a problem with one of them, you are expected to sit down like grown women and talk it out. 

37. RESPECT the people who hire us.  Be professional, easy to work with, and deliver what you promise.

38. RESPECT fellow performers.  There is plenty of cattiness in this business.  It is NOT tolerated in Cin City Burlesque.  We may not love what other people do, but you must be professional.

39. RESPECT our fans.  They are why we do this.

40. RESPECT the amount of blood, sweat, and tears it takes to produce 3 minutes of magic onstage.  For every short solo you see onstage, there is likely 30+hours of work that went into it.  For every group number?  Try 60+.  If you are in this for the money, you’re barking up the wrong tree.  If you think this is a glamorous business, you need to get out now.  This is HARD WORK.  We dance through injuries and illness.  We often have 10 different pieces of choreography we’re working on at any given time.  We spend hours hunched over a bra sewing on fringe or gluing on crystals. You are constantly packing your costumes, repairing them, and then repacking them, all while listening to your music over and over again.  You will take the same piece of clothing off 67 times, just to straighten in back out, put it back on, and do it all over again. This is the life of a burley-girl, and something you’re choosing to take on of your own free will.

Her response was this:

"I'm sorry but your rules and guidelines are extremely strict and as a solo performer, restrictive to my ability to perform outside of the group, not to mention the amount of time you're asking for a performer to be available with no pay. I don't really understand how you're retaining members but it seems very unreasonable and unproductive as a creative group. Thanks for your time anyway!"

To which I must say:

It's not a "creative group" I run, but a business. The reason the business does so well professionally both in performance and in generating income is because of these "unreasonable" and "strict" rules. It is certainly not for everyone, and the few performers who have left over the years and went out as solo artists have stopped booking within the year.  What you don't see as a solo artist (particularly as a newcomer) is the amount of marketing, choreography, costuming and booking the owner of the company provides in order for each performer to be able to hit the stage and be paid well for it. You're also getting FREE training with women who have been professional dancers for almost 20 years...usually which we charge $75 an hour for. I know some truly INCREDIBLE solo artists that are making it on their own and I am in awe of how they're able to pull it all together.  That being said, a newbie does not generally have the resources or know-how in order to make an actual living at it without some help.  As a troupe, we have something special and specific to offer...large, well-choreographed production numbers.  That requires a ton more time, work and money to pull off than a solo.  I know this because I produce and perform both.  The reward, however, is to be surrounded by an incredible family of women, with a wealth of knowledge and experience, and end up with a special and polished finished product, without the hassle of the performers doing the non-fun admin bullshit.  

So cheers to you, Newcomer.  I hope your solo career takes flight in every way you could possibly hope for.  I'll be over here with my evil empire sippin' on a whiskey and answering emails.

Good Gawd I'm Lucky

The scramble of a burlesque performer's life generally revolves around securing enough bookings to pay for their costuming.  Straight up.  A lucky few break even.  A smaller percentage make a little extra pocket money after that debt is paid.  The tiniest percentage earn a living at it, and at it alone.  I'm somewhere in between the last two.  I'm always in the black, and can afford some niceties. If I never wanted to see my husband, I could likely do it full time and earn a decent living.  But that was never my goal.  I always knew I wanted to form a troupe, choreograph incredible group numbers, teach workshops, mentor my cast members, and produce.  The performing is nice and all, but a body can only take so much.  As I embark on my final year on stage (unless I'm offered some sort of ridiculous amount of money), I reflect on what a whirlwind my performing career has been. I've performed in bars, drag clubs, breweries, event venues, hotel ballrooms, museums, church halls, dance studios, concert halls and even an arena. I've met and shared the stage with countless incredible performers, and have been in awe of their talent, their indelible spirits, and their love.  This life has garnered friendships that I would never have had otherwise, and for that I am ridiculously grateful.  Here's a big secret:  I owe a TON of my success to just a few specific things:

1) Treating it like a business at all times, and at all costs.
2) Having an INCREDIBLY supportive husband and family.
3) Being fronted by AMAZING women and men that work their asses off for me both on stage as well as off.
4) LIVE NATION.

Yes.  I said it.  Live Nation.  In 2012 I fielded a phone call from the then manager at Bogart's Karen Foley.  She wanted to book my little troupe at the historic venue.  I was thrilled, and also filled with trepidation.  That stage has hosted U2, The Red Hot Chili Peppers... COUNTLESS iconic bands and performers.  But the last time I had been in the venue was in 1995.  I remember it being dark, sticky, and a little run down.  She assured me that Live Nation had picked up the venue, and that big changes were happening.  She took a gamble on us, and we reciprocated.  And boy, was she right.  The venue got a face lift, as well as the surrounding area. I can't tell you what an incredible gift it has been for my company.  We are INCREDIBLY lucky to work with such a great staff...everyone from management, to tech, to box office.  It has given us a venue with a stage large enough to support or big group productions, and enough seating to accommodate shows up to 500 folks.  It's allowed us to properly film our productions.  Thanks to our videographer Justin Nieves, we have polished, lovely film out in the world to promote.  Our YouTube channel has seen over 1 million views in the last year alone.  Thanks to Live Nation, we've also been picked up by our incredible sponsors over at Hustler Hollywood.  We've been SO excited to see the company expanding the brand, particularly reaching out to women, which has always been our M.O.  The exposure we've received by working with Live Nation has made booking a breeze.  I've always had the mindset that if you do good work, the bookings will come to you.  You don't have to go out and hound venues and producers for them.  This has certainly been the case for us.  It has been SUCH a gift.

As I sit here typing this I'm blathering like an idiot.  We've booked more gigs this year already than we did our first three years in existence.  I've booked three gigs in the last two days alone...all of which have come to us.  I've met incredible movers and shakers all over the Queen City...business owners, big wigs, head honchos...but I'm most grateful for meeting our incredible fans that I am lucky enough to get to meet.  You folks have absolutely no idea how much our interactions stick with me.  Your cards, your letters, your pictures, your hugs and kisses, and your stories of how much our shows and workshops have meant to you.  How they've empowered you.  How you've met your "tribe" with us.  How you view your body, and other people's bodies.  I am so so thankful.  It is so much more than I could ever deserve.

Love,
G

The Production Shuffle

Every quarter I produce a new show, with lots of smaller bookings in between. There is a method to my madness, a controlled chaos if you will.  I usually book the year out with large productions by October of the previous year.  At that time I settle on show themes, and within weeks I've assigned music or themes for both group numbers as well as solos, all the while being mindful of costuming costs, and what numbers can cross over to varying themes.  I then usually begin cutting music, and working out choregraphy for both group numbers and solos.  While working out choreography, I work out what costuming and props will be needed, and the search for said things begins.  I begin marketing...first figuring out what we want the image to look like, then shoot and edit the advertising.  I consign tickets, and start marketing via social media.  I settle on a workshop song, choreograph it, figure out costuming, and begin advertising that as well. I set dates for dress rehearsal, tech rehearsal, and group and solo auditions. All of these things happen 2-3 months before a show.  A month prior, I'm weekly dropping off money to the venue from ticket sales.  I'm checking with my girls every few days to see how many are remaining, and who needs what.  I put the lineup in order, and work out sound and lighting cues, as well as notes for the stagehands.  I put together notes for my MC, and double check that my vendors are in order and have everything they need. I drop off our music, and sound and light cues to the venue. I choreograph and write out curtain call cues.  I check, repair and clean costuming. I put together check lists of costuming for the girls, and put together "Kitten Tags" (notes and a tagging and bagging system for the person who collects our discarded clothes off the floor after each number).  I put together the Shot and a Kiss schedule, and print out signage for my workshop ladies so they don't get lost backstage.  The week of the show, we run dress rehearsal and tech rehearsal.  I turn in any unsold tickets and money to the venue.  I pack my gig bag, going off of a checklist prepared specifically for that show.  I pack up merch, and make sure I have change for those buying merch with cash.  I charge my Notebook for credit cards.  I make sure I have an empty bag to put the Go-Go for charity cash in at the end of the night.  I make sure I have the Shot and a Kiss sign and tip bucket.  I confirm my stage hands, kittens and merch booth attendant.  I make sure all of my paperwork is packed: merch pricing sheet, stagehand directions, kitten tags, and 6 copies of the lineup to tape up in various locations. The day of the show I put on my stage makeup, do my hair, apply my lashes, and pack up the car.  I unload and set up the merch booth.  I set up the Shot and a Kiss table.  I put up Workshop signage and lineups back stage.  I put together the stagehand's clipboard.  I put the kitten tags in order with the bags and set them stage left with a lineup and stapler.  I lay out my costuming and pre-load my pasties.  I put up any reservation signs on seating or tables that are needed.  I have a light meal, a couple of Tylenol, a bottle of water and a bourbon.  I walk through my choreography on stage.  I stretch.  I double check the order of props.  I go change into my meet and great dress and heels, and check in with all of the girls and go over any changes and the Shot and a Kiss schedule.  I go grab the booze and glasses for Shot and a Kiss.  The doors open.  My girls start Shot and a Kiss while I check in with the merch attendant, vendors, the sound and light techs, the stagehands, the kitten and the MC.  I put out the few ticket/seating fires that arise. I do Shot and a Kiss.  I close it, pay out the bar, turn in any unused booze, and pull tips and signage. I dress for my first number, and check in that the girls are close to being ready.  I do one last check with our light and sound guys.  The girls all kiss and hug.  I cue light and sound to start the show.  During the show I continuously cue the performers, which are down a giant flight of stairs, the curtain man, the MC, and the stagehands, speeding up, slowing down, or updating as needed.  We do Go-Go for charity, and count the totals during intermission for the reveal in the second act.  I cue the second act.  We pack used costuming and props as the show progresses, sometimes even packing the cars with props before the show has even ended.  The second the curtain call ends, I finish sorting and packing costuming and props and pack up the car.  I go up and close up and pack up the merch booth.  I try to say hello to as many people as possible while still packing.  I pay out my bar tab that I cover for my merch attendant and stagehands.  I finish packing the car.  I go have several drinks across the street with the crew, while barely moving or speaking.  My pay for the amount of time I am actually on stage is outrageously high.  My teaching rate is way above average.  My pay for non-stage time is nearly nonexistant, which is why I need a clone.  I do this on top of 6-10 classes a week, as well as various other performances and appearances.  I have to be extremely well organized, and extraordinarily dedicated.  I have had many other performers ask recently how it is I keep a troupe running so smoothly.  I have to tell you...it's at the expense of my time and energy.  But it's worth it.

G

Burlesque dangers...Seriously.

It sounds ridiculous, but here's what happens over the years:

1) You feel naked without lashes on.  It seems impossible that your mug is finished without them.

2) You find crystals, sequins and glitter everywhere.  In your bed, in your lint trap, on your pets...everywhere.

3)  Your lips consistently feel like the Sahara.  Longwear lipstick is great for the stage, but not so good on your skin.

4)  There's a real fear of leaving the house without pants on.  You get so comfortable in your nudity that you get phobic that you'll leave the house half dressed.

5)  Your personal space boundaries become minuscule.  Seriously.  The tiny dressing rooms and nakedness makes for a handsy bunch of folks.

6)  Your pink bits are always tender and sore and covered in adhesive residue.  Sometimes you're pulling that stuff off for days.

7)  You shimmy in inappropriate places.  Grocery stores, coffee shops, restaurants...if the music is calling for it, it's hard to stop yourself.

8)  You cannot shop for anything without thinking about turning it into a routine.  Like, ANYTHING.  "Hm...this vase could possibly fit on my head, no?"

9)  Most of your shoes and clothes are miserably uncomfortable.  I'd like to say you acclimate to it, but no.

10)  Your house (and life) becomes held together entirely by E6000.  We should buy stock in it.

11)  You are constantly covered in mystery bruises.  From props, other girls, and God knows what else.

 Although all of these things are legitimate issues we as burleskers face, it's all worth it in the end.  We think.

G

It's been 5 years...

I just got a little misty-eyed driving to the studio. I was thinking back to the first show Cin City Burlesque produced 5 years ago...it was in a tiny little studio with maybe 25 people there, and we danced maybe 9 numbers total. God, we have grown SO much! We have employed over 25 performers over the years, booked over 100 shows, taught over 200 women in workshops, raised over $10,000 for charities, and entertained thousands. Thank you, Cincinnati, for embracing us and making us the successful troupe we are today. Words can't describe how in awe of your support and how grateful we are every day.  We cannot WAIT to celebrate with you with some fan favorites and a brand new closing number with over 20,000 crystals at Bogart's on Saturday, June 7th.  We promise...it will be a show to remember.

G

Burlesque Show Etiquette

Many of you reading my posts have been to a burlesque show.  Some of you have not.  For those of you Noobs, lemme take a minute to school you of the do's and don'ts.
1) It is absolutely appropriate to hoot, holler, cat call and yell.  In fact, it is encouraged.  The performer feeds directly off of the audience reaction.  It's hard to keep your energy up on stage when it's crickets in the house.
2) It is never appropriate to touch the performer unsolicited.  There may be times a performer will take your hand, or have you remove a glove for them...but don't take this task upon yourself.  And if you do touch the performer, expect to be expelled forcibly from the venue.
3) Drinking is a good thing...in doses.  No performer appreciates some over-indulgent audience member becoming a jackass.
4) No.  You may not keep that discarded glove that landed in your lap.
5) Tipping the performers vary based on the venue and the performers themselves.  If tipping IS involved at a show, leave the money on the edge of the stage so as not to interrupt the performer during their routine.  Many hours of costuming and choreography went into it...don't ruin it by expecting them to drop what they've been rehearsing just to take a dollar out of your hand.
6) Come with an open mind and a sense of humor.  Expect both to be tested.
7) You will see all walks of life both on stage and off.  Be respectful to both the performers on stage as well as the audience members.
8) No. You will not be getting a lap dance.
9) Show tickets can be expensive.  Frequently props and costumes for just one number can run the girls anywhere from $200-$500...so consider a $25 ticket a bargain.
10) If you heckle the MC, expect to be heckled back.  They are quick and witty and have tongues as sharp as blades.  You will NOT win that exchange.
11) Be open to the possibility that a show will change your views on women, beauty and social issues.

Bottom line - Until you've experienced a good burlesque show, don't assume you know what you're getting into.  Some people leave after two numbers in.  Others leave with their cheeks hurting from smiling and laughter.  And a select few leave with a life-changing experience under their belts.  Which one will you be?

G

Hammerheads

When we first founded CCB in 2009, we were a team of 8 trained professional dancers...5 women and 3 men. The men (The Hammerheads) were the significant others of three of the other troupe members and were all three professional ballroom dancers. Sassy and I choreographed their first number to Sixteen Tons, and outfitted them in coveralls,  hard hats with tap lights on the front,  and pretty substantial prop sledgehammers tailored to their hight. The first rehearsal was nothing short of comedic genius (Why do we not record this shit?). The boys struggled to learn our choreography for some reason.  Then we added props and costuming to deal with and it was full-on chaos. No one got frustrated or lost their sense of humor,  but it certainly did not go as smoothly as we expected.  But two months later when the boys stepped on stage for our first gig in front of a packed house it was beyond deafening.  People fell in love immediately.  For the next show we added a fourth male dancer...a talented student of one of the Hammerheads who was an incredibly animated performer. This time they did their own choreography.  Once again they had people on their feet. Over several shows, we brought in 3 other male dancers as well.  Alas, two of the guys bought dance studios, and trying to wrangle schedules for rehearsal times became too much of a challenge.  They didn't officially "disband" per se, but real life got in the way. The boys still come to shows and consistently talk of getting something together....we can only hope they'll join us back onstage at some point.  They are certainly missed.

G

No stage time for G...and here's why.

Many of you ask why I'm not on stage more during our shows.  I have several answers to that. 1) Every time I take the stage and am not backstage directing traffic the show slows down and something goes wrong. Back stage I am the traffic controller. I keep in constant communication between the sound booth, lighting,  the stage hands and curtain man, the emcee and the performers. If just one of those communications are missed between a single number then something goes wrong. The music starts early...the emcee isn't sure when the next act is ready....the curtain is still opening when the act has started...we're missing a prop...All of the components rely on the stage manager. And that would be me. 2) I always put my own numbers off until the very last second because I'm too busy putting together group and solo choreography for the rest of the girls,  cutting music and putting together the lineup,  putting together sound, lighting and stagehands directions,  gathering costuming and prop pieces, working with the venue on marketing and ticket sales, getting merchant together and pricing it out, and updating social media. My solos are the absolute LAST thing I think about.  They're such an afterthought that it's not fair to the audience OR me. 3) I'm getting too old for this shit. Everything hurts all the time and I'm losing out to gravity. It's a young woman's game,  and I no longer qualify.  4) This was ALWAYS my intention.  I never wanted to spend the rest of my days on stage. I enjoy the production end more than the performance end...I always have. My intention was always to dance a few years, build up a strong troupe,  then slowly back off stage. I have 9 other girls that would LOVE to be on stage all damn night. It's my intention to give them as much time in the spotlight that they want and deserve. My time has come and gone. I'm certainly ok with it. In fact, I'm thrilled.  I just hope everyone can be as happy for me as I am.

G

Birthday Issues...

So I haven't celebrated my birthday in 6 years.  It's a long story involving a big family blow-up and frankly not worth repeating.  Needless to say, it left me with a sour taste in my mouth.  Frankly it's never really been a big deal to begin with...being January 3rd, I was usually heading back to school or work, and it frequently got overlooked with the hustle and bustle of the holidays anyway.  But this year marks the 5th year of existence of Cin City Burlesque, and what I'm hoping to be my last year on stage (don't worry...I'll still produce, teach and choreograph!).  So I'm actually going to celebrate this year.  Saturday, January 4th at Moerlein Brewery's Tap room (it's an AMAZING space!) we're gonna do it up right.  I was going to make it an invite-only thing, but fuck it.  Come out and point out a few new lines around my eyes.

G

Bring on the crazy emails

An article on City City Burlesque in one of The Queen City's most popular rags comes out today.  We're the cover story, hence a cover picture.  People are going to see a pile of naked laughing women of varying ages, shapes and sizes and have some sort of gut reaction. 1) They'll immediately look away because it will make them uncomfortable.  We've ingrained it into our brains that the human form is somehow dirty or pornographic. 2) They'll be outraged.  These will be either: a) "femenists" who think we're exploiting ourselves (and they clearly didn't read the article), or b) super-conservative Jesus-freaks who think we're going straight to hell.  3) They'll snicker and sneer because they're : a) a woman who feels threatened by other women (no, we have no interest in your man),  b) men who think we're trying to turn them on (we're not - read the damn article), or c) convinced that women should look a certain way and we don't fit that mold. 4) They'll be shocked.  But the picture will intrigue them enough to pick up the magazine and actually read the article so they know what they'er looking at. Or....5) They'll get it immediately...because they've been to a show.  Either way, I expect to be fielding emails over the next week....everything from praise to hatred.  Most I will  respond to.  I'm not going to argue with people who write hate mail...I'm clearly not going to change their minds.  I just hope they have the good sense to read the article before they hit "Send", and are not just having a gut reaction to a photo.  Either way, we've gotten what we want to say out there, and for that we'll be ever grateful to Jac Kern, Jesse Fox, and CityBeat.

G

You get what you pay for.

Someone said to us the other day, "You get what you pay for." That's true...and it's not. Some people think $85 for one girl to dance one 4-minute routine is outrageous. What you don't see: That costume cost her $85-$200 and 8-10 hours stoning, fringing, and altering it. That number was rehearsed 20-30 hours (of unpaid time, mind you) before it ever hit the stage. The performer spends anywhere from 90-120 minutes doing hair, makeup, and packing up costuming and props. The performer spends an average of 90-120 minutes at the venue, doing sound checks, spacing the stage, getting dressed (usually in a closet or office somewhere), dancing, repacking, and collecting the paycheck. So that 4-minute number you're watching that girl dance cost her an average of $142 and 37 hours worth of unpaid work. For big group numbers, multiply that by about 15. So you're actually getting a LOT more than you're paying for.

Pay varies based on each number, but the most we get per number is $50 for a solo, and anywhere from $10-$30 per group number. So in order for us to recoup the cost of the costuming for a solo usually takes 3-4 times of dancing it just to break even, and group numbers (depending on the amount of girls dancing in it) takes us dancing it 10-15 times to recoup the cost to produce it. The advantages of having 11-15 girls on staff are great: We can put on longer shows with a LOT more variety, and have the capability for big Vegas-style group numbers. But it costs a LOT more money to run a group this size, and we'd hate to ever have to cut back on the amount of performers we hire!!!!

Total cost for costuming for a closing number at Bogart's? $1200. For 4 minutes. For one number. Yup.

G

Pay it forward, Motherfuckers.

Over the years we've raised over $10,000 for varying charities - Caracole House, Stop AIDS Cincinnati, The National ALS Foundation, The Prostate Cancer Foundation, The National MS Society, and Susan G. Komen Foundation.  For 3 years straight we did our annual Baring It for Breast Cancer show and bra auction to raise funds for Susan G. Komen, but after pulling their funding from Planned Parenthood (no matter how short a time or what the reasoning), we decided to turn our efforts elsewhere.  For the past 15 months we've been collecting money during our shows during a 5-minute go-go number to donate to the National MS Society.  This one is near and dear to us, as one of my Cin City Burlesque dancers, Lucky Charms, was diagnosed in 2011.  In just about 15 minutes of go-go dancing total, we've raised around $1000 for MS this year.  We've also been concentrating our efforts for The Prostate Foundation, as my father was diagnosed last year at this time.  If you're looking to put together a fundraiser, please contact us.  If you're coming to a show, dig into those pockets and pull out those checkbooks.  We love you generous folks, and appreciate your support in our fight.

G

G

The secret of my success...

I spoke to a small business owner the other day who was heart-broken that their business wasn't able to support them financially. They then proceeded to tell me that they were taking two days off a week...one of which is their biggest day for business. Ummmm....what? As a business owner, you MUST work 7 days a week for many years. You MUST pay your staff and bills on time. You MUST put in many hours of "unpaid" time to market and organize your business. You MUST determine where your money is best spent. You MUST be a hard-ass when it counts. You MUST lay out clear expectations for both your staff and your clients. You MUST treat your staff like gold, because without them you're nothing. And you MUST deliver what you promise EVERY time.

I think the key to success is hard work. I don't get "set" time off! That's what happens when you open a business...you're constantly on the clock. I have a serious problem with business owners that pass the buck. When something, ANYTHING goes wrong with my business, it's on ME. If my employees fuck up, I take the heat and give them a warning. They do it again...they're gone. But it all comes back to personal responsibility. I have a contract that my employees sign every year in which (amongst MANY other things) it states that they are to check their emails daily. Turns out...they don't. So when I send them an important email, I follow it up with a text letting them know. It is MY responsibility (as it is MY business) to make sure they know what their jobs are, what is expected of them, and give them the tools to succeed. If they screw something up, that is a reflection on ME, MY business, and MY training! I also don't EVER ask them to do things that I won't do. As the owner, it is MY job to do the "un-fun" and "un-glam" stuff, so that they can do their jobs. When my staff shines, I shine. I work my ass off for them, and they work their asses off for me.

There are a lot of "starving artists" out there for a reason. The reason is threefold: 1.) They're not good enough at what they do to earn a living at it, and should instead pursue it as a hobby. 2.) They're talented, but they struggle to market themselves and run a business. 3.) They're unprofessional, and think they can get by with their behavior because they're "an artist". If you are late to gigs, unprepared, don't show up when you say you will, don't deliver what you promise, carry yourself unprofessionally, do it for free for your buddies (with no return on your business), discount your pricing, copy other peoples work, don't run it like a business, don't invest in your craft and business, party with your patrons, THEN YOU WILL NEVER EARN A LIVING AS AN ARTIST!!!! Just because it's a "fun" job, doesn't mean you can treat it like playtime.

G

Group routines...Difficult, but worth it.

Many burlesque troupes are a collective of solo artists.  They travel and dance together, but rarely if ever share the stage with one another.  On occasion you'll see duets or trios, but even that is fairly rare.  Dancing large group numbers with 5-10 women like we do at Cin City Burlesque takes dedication, hard work, and some cahones. When someone screws up choreography in a solo, as long as they keep a poker face and keep moving no one will ever know. When just one person is slightly off time, out of place, or screws up choreography during a group number it stands out like a sore thumb. When just one girl misses rehearsal it throws the rest of the girls off of spacing and formations.  It takes endless hours working together, and lots of cash to put together all the costuming and props.  We have to find the right music, the right concept, the right costuming, the right stage, and the right girls for each and every separate group number.  Choreography is frequently changed based on formations, ability level, stage size, number of women, and to adjust the overall effect.  You have to stand back and let your eyes blur a bit to look at it as an entire piece, versus individual dancers sharing the stage.  If anyone stands out for any reason, we have to adjust it.  You have to develop a "group thought" process.  You start adjusting to each other instinctively.  You're more concerned about how the number looks overall...not how you specifically look.  We depend on each other, trust one another, and push each other. The choreography or costuming may not be the most difficult or intricate as some of the solos, but those are the numbers that the audience remembers.  They are what they come to see.  It is certainly not for everyone, but we love the end result.

G

You betta recognize!

I am not famous.  I am, however, recognizable. It's the hair (thank you, Eros Salon!).  If I wore a wig or a hat I could run in traffic naked and no one would have any clue it's me.  But it is ridiculously adorable when I run into people in public who recognize me.  Some whisper.  Some stare. Some cut a VERY wide path. Some come over and geek out.  But some of the greatest reactions stick with me... "I saw you at City Flea and you were wearing jeans just like a normal person!" "I wasn't sure it was you, but then you turned away from me and I saw your butt." Or maybe the best yet from a rather popular male bartender..."I know you!  You do this!" (shimmies shoulders wildly).  1.) Yes...I wear jeans.  And yes, I'm pretty much a normal person.  I just have a very weird job that requires Swarovski and eyelashes. 2.) I get it...I have a giant ass.  It's as recognizable as the hair.  3.) Yup.  I do do that.

I have mixed feelings about being recognized.  It's fine when I'm out to dinner or having a cocktail...I'm usually prepared for it, especially if I'm downtown or in northern Kentucky.  I'm way LESS prepared when one of my fitness clients asks her hairstylist for a cut like mine, and the stylist knows who I am  just based on THAT alone and "outs" me to the client , and then the client begins coming to shows.  And even worse is when I'm out running errands after teaching a cardio class and people want to come over and hug me.  ICK.  Poor peeps...they'll never see me the same way again.  They'll only picture me as sweaty and stinky and scary.

In general I adore meeting Cin City fans.  But I'm lucky I can even remember my own name...let alone someone else's . I hate disappointing people if I don't immediately recognize them or remember the details of how we met.  Hell...I still can't remember half of my employees names.  Half the time I make out their checks to "Blondie McBlonderson" and "Tits McGee"...so cut me some slack.

G

A word on girlfriends

I love my hubby.  I truly do.  But I can't wrap my brain around women that neglect their relationships with their girlfriends because of their significant others. Women connect with each other in a way that is unlike any other relationship.  You cannot trade one for another.  But it is SO important to nurture these bonds.  I'm not saying to neglect your other relationships for them, but make a conscious effort to build them.

My girlfriends are amazing.  They make me laugh, they challenge me, they support me unconditionally, and they call me out when I need it.  I am certainly a better woman today by surrounding myself with these women.  There is no cattiness, no jealousy, no backstabbing.  If we have a problem, we lay it on the table.  We've fought, we've cried...we've gotten over it.  That's what you do with sisters.  They're right there behind me when I need a push, in front of me when I'm lost, and right beside me when I need a hand to hold.  I'd give a kidney to any one of them.

It happens gradually.  You don't really notice it at first.  Then you're finishing each other's sentences, and buying each other stupid gifts because you know it would make them laugh.  You wear each others clothes and use each other's tupperware to the point that you forget whose is whose. You become so intertwined in each others lives that people start mistaking you for one another in public, even though you look absolutely nothing alike.

I think it can be summed up as such:

Game night.  Boys versus Girls (of course). Charades.  Boys give me the movie "Debbie Does Dallas" hoping for a show, and to try and earn a point (they're getting crushed). I look Sassy in the eyes, tell her to "Sync up", do the "movie" symbol and hold up 3 fingers.  She screams "Debbie Does Dallas!" in under a second, and all the girls fall to the floor in a laughing/crying pile of victory while the boys gape at the amazing display of soul mate success.

G

Backstage Bedlam - What REALLY goes on back stage

I know the picture you have in your brain.  We sit daintily in front of a row of mirrors lined with lights, gaily applying our lipstick in feather-trimmed dressing gowns while sipping on champagne. I really hate to burst your bubble. ...but I'm gonna.

Most of our "dressing rooms" are dirty, freezing cold or 900 degrees, tiny and lacking mirrors of any sort. We change in green rooms, bathrooms, offices and storage closets. The floors are sticky. There's nowhere to put costuming down. There's rarely heat or A/C. And we're all right on top of each other. You have to be SUPER organized, tolerant and flexible. A sense of humor helps tremendously.

We usually have to bring our own full-length mirror for costume checks, and hand-held mirrors to touch up makeup. The lighting is always crappy...you come with your hair and makeup DONE.

We usually walk into a gig wearing comfortable shoes (your feet will be miserable the rest of the night), yoga pants (something loose that won't leave marks) and track jackets (something zip-front so you don't ruin your hair or face changing) with nude "safety g-string" underneath (this goes under your costuming and is taped down right before you hit the stage and right AFTER you've peed).

Once we get our costuming laid out in order and pre-load our pasties with tape,  we stretch and walk through choreography. We put props in order with the stagehands. We mic check and sound check. If it's a venue that's new to us we check out the stage. We take Tylenol. We drink water. We eat bananas. We have one (and ONLY one) cocktail.  Then you dress in your first costume and put your robe over it. Double check the set list. Kiss each other and pump each other up. Then it's off we go.

I wish I could paint pretty pictures for you of glitz and glamour,  feathers and flowers, chandeliers and champagne....but there it is.

G

What do you call a stripper who spends all of her earnings on costumes? A burlesque dancer.

So I posted on my Facebook page that the difference between a stripper and a burlesque performer is enormous, but that would entirely depend on the performer.  It seems in the last year or so the lines have blurred SO much that it's becoming homogenized. In the past, "strippers" take tips, and burly girls don't.  But in the last few years, allowing the audience to tip you seems to becoming more of a norm (Cin City doesn't take tips, in case you're wondering). Until recently, the raunchier movements were left to the girls working the midnight shift on the pole...but alas, even that seems to be making its way into the burly world.  It's not terribly unusual anymore to see splays directly toward the audience, or for a performer to simulate a sex act on stage (none for us, thanks!).  Until VERY recently, I would say that burlesque dancers tended to perform more for a female audience, and leave the men to the tip rails at the strip club.  But again, this seems to be changing.  It seems that some of the wit, intelligence, and "thoughtfulness" tend to be waning.  What I can still put my finger on that speaks directly and distinctly to burlesque is this:  The performers are more varied in shape, size and age, and they are generally making way less money (costuming and props are EXPENSIVE).  Other than that, their becoming enmeshed. Don't get me wrong - I find nothing wrong with "strippers" in the least.  But the once distinct gap between the two is narrowing.

G

Some things you may not know about me....

1.) I hate crowds.  They make me violently angry.  I don't know why.

2.) I'm actually an introvert.  Don't mix it with shyness...I'm certainly not shy.  But I definitely need alone time to recharge.

3.) I'm blessed with my maternal grandmother's fingernails, my father's legs and feet, and my mother's thick skin.  I'm also cursed with my maternal grandfather's height, my father's nose, and my mother's temper.  I have no earthly idea where my ass came from.

4.) I've had the mole on the side of my face since I was little.  Unless it becomes cancerous, it will be there until I die.  It's kind of a signature.

5.) My hair is naturally curly. 

6.) I'm a mouth-kisser.  Sometimes it freaks people out. I have to remind myself when I meet someone new not to kiss them.

7.) I HATE working out.  That's the only reason I became a group fitness instructor...it forces me to get my ass to the gym.

8.) I've worn glasses since I was in grade school.  I had contacts for about 3 months and hated them.  I only wear them for distance, and can't stand looking at anything up close with them on.  It gives me a raging headache.

9.) I'm missing a vertebrae. It pisses me off.  I figure if I had it (along with the discs on either side) I'd have an extra 2 inches or so of height.

10.) I was stabbed outside of my apartment when I was 21.  I still have scars from it. They never found the guy that did it.

11.) I drove a stick from the time I was 16 up until 4 years ago.  I still reach for the clutch on occasion.

12.) I absolutely ADORE Italian food.  It's just ridiculous.

13.) When I was 6 years old I was in an accident that drove my 4 front teeth back up into my gums.  They came back down over the next month or so.  In the interim I lived on soup and ice cream, so it wasn't so bad.

14.) I hate long hair.  I have absolutely no patience with it.

15.) My mom is under 5 foot tall and 63 years old. She's one of the baddest bitches I know.

16.) I have a younger brother whom I have nothing in common with.  He's a lovely man.  He thinks I'm crazy.  His daughters think I'm the fun eccentric aunt.  I'm ok with that.

17.) I have a really hard time asking for help. I tend to want to do everything on my own. I figure by the time I explain the way I want something done, I could have done it already.

18.) I'm a REALLY good dance teacher.

19.) The vast majority of my wardrobe is menswear and black. I like color and look fine in it. I just tend to ruin anything of color.  I spill something on it, sit in something, etc.  Not worth it.

20.) I have cyclical insomnia.  I've had it since I was a teenager.  I destroyed my back as a gymnast when I was a kid, and could only get relief if I laid over a stack of pillows.  It gave me pain relief, but made it impossible to sleep.  Up until about 6 years ago I spent 90% of my life with significant back pain.

21.) I still have both my appendix and my tonsils.

22.) I generally hate celebrating my birthday.

23.) I frequently tell the people I love how I feel...You never know when it will be the last time you speak with them.

24.) I love blues music and old standards.  I don't really listen to popular radio.

25.) I like my beer, my chocolate and my wine the same way....the darker the better.

What do you mean, I'm naked?

After so many years of performing,  you get used to walking around in little to no clothing. I've had entire conversations with people wearing nothing but a pair of heels and a smile. The problem with this is that you forget that maybe not everyone feels the same way.  You begin assuming that everyone is comfortable in nothing but their own skin. Every once in a while I'm reminded. .. by the new girl in the troupe who goes into the corner to change,  or the ladies in a workshop who giggle uncontrollably when they are asked to take a shirt off. What I don't understand is how we as a culture have come to this point.  There is nothing pornographic about the human form.  Why is a bikini ok,  but the second you take away
that tiny bit of material,  it suddenly becomes taboo? Why is our first instinct to try and cover ourselves and giggle like school girls?  So I say to you... that tiny slip of material fools no one. We know what's under it,  and sport the same bits. By aggressively trying to cover your pink bits you only draw attention to it. The second we stop feeling shame associated with the nude form is the second we are truly free.

G.