It's Not for Everyone...Troupe Life

So I received an email from a girl looking to move to Cincinnati from Indiana.  She was inquiring about auditions.  I immediately asked if she had seen us perform, and what her dance background consisted of.  The response I received was:

"I have an extensive dance background. I'm trained in the foundations (ballet, jazz  hip hop, etc) I've performed burlesque, though not as often as I'd have liked, and I'm training in pole dancing at an intermediate /advanced level. I have seen a few videos on YouTube of the group."

1)  "Foundations" in 3 forms of dance does not an "extensive dance background" make.
2)  So...no.

I then sent her our Expectations and Guidelines to look over before we went any further.  This is what they consist of:

Cin City Burlesque

Expectations, Rules and Guidelines

Revised – 8/22/2015

1.Group rehearsal time runs from 11-1on Sundays for groups, plus additional time on your own to memorize your choreography.  Ginger cannot spend those precious 2 hours of group time trying to help you remember choreography – you MUST do that on your own time. Girls must be available from 10 a.m. – 2 p.m. on Sundays, if we need to run long.

2. Girls must be on time and READY TO DANCE (i.e., shoes on, warmed up, and mouths zipped) at exactly those times with NO exceptions unless previously cleared with Ginger.  For every minute you are late, you will take the entire flight of stairs up and down.

3. If you miss any Sunday rehearsals 3 weeks before a large show you’ll be pulled from the group routines, and possibly your solo. This includes tech (if you’re required to be there – singing numbers and/or group numbers) and dress rehearsal

4. If you are slacking off in rehearsal, Ginger reserves the right to send you home.  If you are sent home, it will count as an absence.  Do not bring your personal issues to rehearsal or performance.

5. You are expected to “check out” for every group number in our arsenal.  If we are working on a number or numbers that you have already “checked out” of you may skip that rehearsal without being penalized.  You will be required to come to rehearsal 4 weeks prior to dancing it at a booking to “audition” it, and will, if picked to dance said number at that upcoming booking,  need to come to every rehearsal leading up to said booking.

6. Every girl is responsible for purchasing and maintaining/replacing as needed the following: 1 nude and 1 black pair of ballroom shoes, 1 nude and 1 black pair of fishnets, their own RELIABLE brand of pastie adhesive, eyelashes and eyelash adhesive, and bra and underwear for all numbers. These things can be acquired over time, but MUST be acquired. This is non-negotiable.

7. You are not paid for rehearsal time.

8. You are expected to do some of your own costume and prop work, with the guidance of Ginger.

9. We will supply you with the “sparkle” for your costuming, but you must apply it.

10. If you borrow a prop or costume from another girl or from CCB, you must return it the following rehearsal unless told to hold on to it by Ginger.  For every rehearsal you forget it, you will be charged $1 off your next paycheck.

11. You must be consistently available on Friday and Saturday nights for bookings, knowing that Ginger will contact you ASAP when a booking comes in, and no later than 2 weeks prior to said booking.

12. ALL burlesque bookings (i.e., you strip, or use your CCB name, the CCB brand or ANY CCB routines, including your solos) MUST go through Ginger.  If you book an outside gig, it may NOT be burlesque in nature.  It may be belly, hoop, ballroom…but NOT burlesque.  If a “friend” or acquaintance wants to book you for burlesque for a show, they MUST contact Ginger directly.  She will handle the booking.  If someone is requested by said booker, we will try to accommodate them as best as possible.

13. Ginger will notify girls immediately when receiving a possible booking via text.  You are all expected to respond yes or no, and she will determine whether or not to take the booking depending on who is available.  If she books it, she will let you know where, when, what you’ll be dancing, and how much pay you will receive.

14. You must answer all texts from Ginger within 24 hours.  She cannot do her job otherwise.

15. Pay will vary from show to show. We only dance for free for charity events.  Pay is always based on the number of routines you perform, and the type of routines you perform.  Solos pay the most, but group numbers are what the audience remembers and loves the most.  The more difficult and longer the routine, the more the pay.

16. All payment comes through Pink Productions, LLC.

17. Ginger will always try to rotate who dances at bookings, but only those who are stage ready get to go on.  The more time and effort you put in, the more likely you are to get booked, and the more money you’ll earn.

18. Ginger has the final say in who dances what for each booking.

19. All choreography, music, costuming, and portrayals must go through Ginger first.

20. Girls must be willing to go down to pasties and g-strings, although not every number requires it.

21. Each girl must have at least 2 solos on the opposite ends of the spectrum…i.e. one “classic” and one “neo”, one “fast”, and one “slow”, one “silly” and one “sultry”. Etc.  Solos can be self-choreographed, or you must find time to get with Ginger to work on choreo.  You must “check out” of your solo at least 4 weeks prior to using it.

22. Pink Productions, LLC  DBA Cin City Burlesque retains all rights to your stage name, character traits, choreography, costumes, portrayals and images.

23. You will have one or two specific stage “looks” for hair and makeup determined by Sugar Plum.  You must be able to replicate this on your own.  Sugar or Ginger can help you “check out” of this.

24. We use stage names only at bookings, and your friends and family need to know they must do the same.

25. You are expected to work “Shot and a Kiss” at some bookings. 

26. During “downtime” at bookings, you are expected to mix and mingle with the crowd, not sitting in the corner with your sisters, or looking at your phone.  You can post photos online and update your status while backstage.  No wallflowers.

27. Be gracious to our fans (particularly our female fans!).  Be friendly and approachable, but be PROFESSIONAL.   Remember – we are ALWAYS on stage!

28. Always carry your business cards.

29. No more than 1 drink prior to a performance.  If at an appearance, no more than 1 drink per 80 minutes.  Remember – we are a good time, but we are NOT sloppy drunk college girls.  You are on the clock.

30. Any friends or family that attend the show must understand that you are there to work, not to hang out with them.  They must give you space, and they must refer to you by your stage name.  If Ginger thinks that you are neglecting your work because of your friends or family, she will ask you to ask them to leave.

31. You will be provided one free CCB t-shirt.  Some appearances will require that you wear it, and some will require more of a pinup/rockabilly look.  You are required to find suitable clothes to be approved by Ginger for those appearances.

32. You will develop a Facebook page dedicated to your stage persona, and keep it up weekly. 

33. Pink Productions, LLC is not responsible for any injuries sustained during rehearsal or performance.

34. RESPECT the reputation of Cin City Burlesque.  We’ve spent years building it.

35. RESPECT the time and money Ginger puts into this to allow you a platform to perform.

36. RESPECT your sisters. If you have a problem with one of them, you are expected to sit down like grown women and talk it out. 

37. RESPECT the people who hire us.  Be professional, easy to work with, and deliver what you promise.

38. RESPECT fellow performers.  There is plenty of cattiness in this business.  It is NOT tolerated in Cin City Burlesque.  We may not love what other people do, but you must be professional.

39. RESPECT our fans.  They are why we do this.

40. RESPECT the amount of blood, sweat, and tears it takes to produce 3 minutes of magic onstage.  For every short solo you see onstage, there is likely 30+hours of work that went into it.  For every group number?  Try 60+.  If you are in this for the money, you’re barking up the wrong tree.  If you think this is a glamorous business, you need to get out now.  This is HARD WORK.  We dance through injuries and illness.  We often have 10 different pieces of choreography we’re working on at any given time.  We spend hours hunched over a bra sewing on fringe or gluing on crystals. You are constantly packing your costumes, repairing them, and then repacking them, all while listening to your music over and over again.  You will take the same piece of clothing off 67 times, just to straighten in back out, put it back on, and do it all over again. This is the life of a burley-girl, and something you’re choosing to take on of your own free will.

Her response was this:

"I'm sorry but your rules and guidelines are extremely strict and as a solo performer, restrictive to my ability to perform outside of the group, not to mention the amount of time you're asking for a performer to be available with no pay. I don't really understand how you're retaining members but it seems very unreasonable and unproductive as a creative group. Thanks for your time anyway!"

To which I must say:

It's not a "creative group" I run, but a business. The reason the business does so well professionally both in performance and in generating income is because of these "unreasonable" and "strict" rules. It is certainly not for everyone, and the few performers who have left over the years and went out as solo artists have stopped booking within the year.  What you don't see as a solo artist (particularly as a newcomer) is the amount of marketing, choreography, costuming and booking the owner of the company provides in order for each performer to be able to hit the stage and be paid well for it. You're also getting FREE training with women who have been professional dancers for almost 20 years...usually which we charge $75 an hour for. I know some truly INCREDIBLE solo artists that are making it on their own and I am in awe of how they're able to pull it all together.  That being said, a newbie does not generally have the resources or know-how in order to make an actual living at it without some help.  As a troupe, we have something special and specific to offer...large, well-choreographed production numbers.  That requires a ton more time, work and money to pull off than a solo.  I know this because I produce and perform both.  The reward, however, is to be surrounded by an incredible family of women, with a wealth of knowledge and experience, and end up with a special and polished finished product, without the hassle of the performers doing the non-fun admin bullshit.  

So cheers to you, Newcomer.  I hope your solo career takes flight in every way you could possibly hope for.  I'll be over here with my evil empire sippin' on a whiskey and answering emails.

The Production Shuffle

Every quarter I produce a new show, with lots of smaller bookings in between. There is a method to my madness, a controlled chaos if you will.  I usually book the year out with large productions by October of the previous year.  At that time I settle on show themes, and within weeks I've assigned music or themes for both group numbers as well as solos, all the while being mindful of costuming costs, and what numbers can cross over to varying themes.  I then usually begin cutting music, and working out choregraphy for both group numbers and solos.  While working out choreography, I work out what costuming and props will be needed, and the search for said things begins.  I begin marketing...first figuring out what we want the image to look like, then shoot and edit the advertising.  I consign tickets, and start marketing via social media.  I settle on a workshop song, choreograph it, figure out costuming, and begin advertising that as well. I set dates for dress rehearsal, tech rehearsal, and group and solo auditions. All of these things happen 2-3 months before a show.  A month prior, I'm weekly dropping off money to the venue from ticket sales.  I'm checking with my girls every few days to see how many are remaining, and who needs what.  I put the lineup in order, and work out sound and lighting cues, as well as notes for the stagehands.  I put together notes for my MC, and double check that my vendors are in order and have everything they need. I drop off our music, and sound and light cues to the venue. I choreograph and write out curtain call cues.  I check, repair and clean costuming. I put together check lists of costuming for the girls, and put together "Kitten Tags" (notes and a tagging and bagging system for the person who collects our discarded clothes off the floor after each number).  I put together the Shot and a Kiss schedule, and print out signage for my workshop ladies so they don't get lost backstage.  The week of the show, we run dress rehearsal and tech rehearsal.  I turn in any unsold tickets and money to the venue.  I pack my gig bag, going off of a checklist prepared specifically for that show.  I pack up merch, and make sure I have change for those buying merch with cash.  I charge my Notebook for credit cards.  I make sure I have an empty bag to put the Go-Go for charity cash in at the end of the night.  I make sure I have the Shot and a Kiss sign and tip bucket.  I confirm my stage hands, kittens and merch booth attendant.  I make sure all of my paperwork is packed: merch pricing sheet, stagehand directions, kitten tags, and 6 copies of the lineup to tape up in various locations. The day of the show I put on my stage makeup, do my hair, apply my lashes, and pack up the car.  I unload and set up the merch booth.  I set up the Shot and a Kiss table.  I put up Workshop signage and lineups back stage.  I put together the stagehand's clipboard.  I put the kitten tags in order with the bags and set them stage left with a lineup and stapler.  I lay out my costuming and pre-load my pasties.  I put up any reservation signs on seating or tables that are needed.  I have a light meal, a couple of Tylenol, a bottle of water and a bourbon.  I walk through my choreography on stage.  I stretch.  I double check the order of props.  I go change into my meet and great dress and heels, and check in with all of the girls and go over any changes and the Shot and a Kiss schedule.  I go grab the booze and glasses for Shot and a Kiss.  The doors open.  My girls start Shot and a Kiss while I check in with the merch attendant, vendors, the sound and light techs, the stagehands, the kitten and the MC.  I put out the few ticket/seating fires that arise. I do Shot and a Kiss.  I close it, pay out the bar, turn in any unused booze, and pull tips and signage. I dress for my first number, and check in that the girls are close to being ready.  I do one last check with our light and sound guys.  The girls all kiss and hug.  I cue light and sound to start the show.  During the show I continuously cue the performers, which are down a giant flight of stairs, the curtain man, the MC, and the stagehands, speeding up, slowing down, or updating as needed.  We do Go-Go for charity, and count the totals during intermission for the reveal in the second act.  I cue the second act.  We pack used costuming and props as the show progresses, sometimes even packing the cars with props before the show has even ended.  The second the curtain call ends, I finish sorting and packing costuming and props and pack up the car.  I go up and close up and pack up the merch booth.  I try to say hello to as many people as possible while still packing.  I pay out my bar tab that I cover for my merch attendant and stagehands.  I finish packing the car.  I go have several drinks across the street with the crew, while barely moving or speaking.  My pay for the amount of time I am actually on stage is outrageously high.  My teaching rate is way above average.  My pay for non-stage time is nearly nonexistant, which is why I need a clone.  I do this on top of 6-10 classes a week, as well as various other performances and appearances.  I have to be extremely well organized, and extraordinarily dedicated.  I have had many other performers ask recently how it is I keep a troupe running so smoothly.  I have to tell you...it's at the expense of my time and energy.  But it's worth it.

G

Burlesque dangers...Seriously.

It sounds ridiculous, but here's what happens over the years:

1) You feel naked without lashes on.  It seems impossible that your mug is finished without them.

2) You find crystals, sequins and glitter everywhere.  In your bed, in your lint trap, on your pets...everywhere.

3)  Your lips consistently feel like the Sahara.  Longwear lipstick is great for the stage, but not so good on your skin.

4)  There's a real fear of leaving the house without pants on.  You get so comfortable in your nudity that you get phobic that you'll leave the house half dressed.

5)  Your personal space boundaries become minuscule.  Seriously.  The tiny dressing rooms and nakedness makes for a handsy bunch of folks.

6)  Your pink bits are always tender and sore and covered in adhesive residue.  Sometimes you're pulling that stuff off for days.

7)  You shimmy in inappropriate places.  Grocery stores, coffee shops, restaurants...if the music is calling for it, it's hard to stop yourself.

8)  You cannot shop for anything without thinking about turning it into a routine.  Like, ANYTHING.  "Hm...this vase could possibly fit on my head, no?"

9)  Most of your shoes and clothes are miserably uncomfortable.  I'd like to say you acclimate to it, but no.

10)  Your house (and life) becomes held together entirely by E6000.  We should buy stock in it.

11)  You are constantly covered in mystery bruises.  From props, other girls, and God knows what else.

 Although all of these things are legitimate issues we as burleskers face, it's all worth it in the end.  We think.

G

Burlesque Show Etiquette

Many of you reading my posts have been to a burlesque show.  Some of you have not.  For those of you Noobs, lemme take a minute to school you of the do's and don'ts.
1) It is absolutely appropriate to hoot, holler, cat call and yell.  In fact, it is encouraged.  The performer feeds directly off of the audience reaction.  It's hard to keep your energy up on stage when it's crickets in the house.
2) It is never appropriate to touch the performer unsolicited.  There may be times a performer will take your hand, or have you remove a glove for them...but don't take this task upon yourself.  And if you do touch the performer, expect to be expelled forcibly from the venue.
3) Drinking is a good thing...in doses.  No performer appreciates some over-indulgent audience member becoming a jackass.
4) No.  You may not keep that discarded glove that landed in your lap.
5) Tipping the performers vary based on the venue and the performers themselves.  If tipping IS involved at a show, leave the money on the edge of the stage so as not to interrupt the performer during their routine.  Many hours of costuming and choreography went into it...don't ruin it by expecting them to drop what they've been rehearsing just to take a dollar out of your hand.
6) Come with an open mind and a sense of humor.  Expect both to be tested.
7) You will see all walks of life both on stage and off.  Be respectful to both the performers on stage as well as the audience members.
8) No. You will not be getting a lap dance.
9) Show tickets can be expensive.  Frequently props and costumes for just one number can run the girls anywhere from $200-$500...so consider a $25 ticket a bargain.
10) If you heckle the MC, expect to be heckled back.  They are quick and witty and have tongues as sharp as blades.  You will NOT win that exchange.
11) Be open to the possibility that a show will change your views on women, beauty and social issues.

Bottom line - Until you've experienced a good burlesque show, don't assume you know what you're getting into.  Some people leave after two numbers in.  Others leave with their cheeks hurting from smiling and laughter.  And a select few leave with a life-changing experience under their belts.  Which one will you be?

G

Bring on the crazy emails

An article on City City Burlesque in one of The Queen City's most popular rags comes out today.  We're the cover story, hence a cover picture.  People are going to see a pile of naked laughing women of varying ages, shapes and sizes and have some sort of gut reaction. 1) They'll immediately look away because it will make them uncomfortable.  We've ingrained it into our brains that the human form is somehow dirty or pornographic. 2) They'll be outraged.  These will be either: a) "femenists" who think we're exploiting ourselves (and they clearly didn't read the article), or b) super-conservative Jesus-freaks who think we're going straight to hell.  3) They'll snicker and sneer because they're : a) a woman who feels threatened by other women (no, we have no interest in your man),  b) men who think we're trying to turn them on (we're not - read the damn article), or c) convinced that women should look a certain way and we don't fit that mold. 4) They'll be shocked.  But the picture will intrigue them enough to pick up the magazine and actually read the article so they know what they'er looking at. Or....5) They'll get it immediately...because they've been to a show.  Either way, I expect to be fielding emails over the next week....everything from praise to hatred.  Most I will  respond to.  I'm not going to argue with people who write hate mail...I'm clearly not going to change their minds.  I just hope they have the good sense to read the article before they hit "Send", and are not just having a gut reaction to a photo.  Either way, we've gotten what we want to say out there, and for that we'll be ever grateful to Jac Kern, Jesse Fox, and CityBeat.

G

You get what you pay for.

Someone said to us the other day, "You get what you pay for." That's true...and it's not. Some people think $85 for one girl to dance one 4-minute routine is outrageous. What you don't see: That costume cost her $85-$200 and 8-10 hours stoning, fringing, and altering it. That number was rehearsed 20-30 hours (of unpaid time, mind you) before it ever hit the stage. The performer spends anywhere from 90-120 minutes doing hair, makeup, and packing up costuming and props. The performer spends an average of 90-120 minutes at the venue, doing sound checks, spacing the stage, getting dressed (usually in a closet or office somewhere), dancing, repacking, and collecting the paycheck. So that 4-minute number you're watching that girl dance cost her an average of $142 and 37 hours worth of unpaid work. For big group numbers, multiply that by about 15. So you're actually getting a LOT more than you're paying for.

Pay varies based on each number, but the most we get per number is $50 for a solo, and anywhere from $10-$30 per group number. So in order for us to recoup the cost of the costuming for a solo usually takes 3-4 times of dancing it just to break even, and group numbers (depending on the amount of girls dancing in it) takes us dancing it 10-15 times to recoup the cost to produce it. The advantages of having 11-15 girls on staff are great: We can put on longer shows with a LOT more variety, and have the capability for big Vegas-style group numbers. But it costs a LOT more money to run a group this size, and we'd hate to ever have to cut back on the amount of performers we hire!!!!

Total cost for costuming for a closing number at Bogart's? $1200. For 4 minutes. For one number. Yup.

G

Pay it forward, Motherfuckers.

Over the years we've raised over $10,000 for varying charities - Caracole House, Stop AIDS Cincinnati, The National ALS Foundation, The Prostate Cancer Foundation, The National MS Society, and Susan G. Komen Foundation.  For 3 years straight we did our annual Baring It for Breast Cancer show and bra auction to raise funds for Susan G. Komen, but after pulling their funding from Planned Parenthood (no matter how short a time or what the reasoning), we decided to turn our efforts elsewhere.  For the past 15 months we've been collecting money during our shows during a 5-minute go-go number to donate to the National MS Society.  This one is near and dear to us, as one of my Cin City Burlesque dancers, Lucky Charms, was diagnosed in 2011.  In just about 15 minutes of go-go dancing total, we've raised around $1000 for MS this year.  We've also been concentrating our efforts for The Prostate Foundation, as my father was diagnosed last year at this time.  If you're looking to put together a fundraiser, please contact us.  If you're coming to a show, dig into those pockets and pull out those checkbooks.  We love you generous folks, and appreciate your support in our fight.

G

G

The secret of my success...

I spoke to a small business owner the other day who was heart-broken that their business wasn't able to support them financially. They then proceeded to tell me that they were taking two days off a week...one of which is their biggest day for business. Ummmm....what? As a business owner, you MUST work 7 days a week for many years. You MUST pay your staff and bills on time. You MUST put in many hours of "unpaid" time to market and organize your business. You MUST determine where your money is best spent. You MUST be a hard-ass when it counts. You MUST lay out clear expectations for both your staff and your clients. You MUST treat your staff like gold, because without them you're nothing. And you MUST deliver what you promise EVERY time.

I think the key to success is hard work. I don't get "set" time off! That's what happens when you open a business...you're constantly on the clock. I have a serious problem with business owners that pass the buck. When something, ANYTHING goes wrong with my business, it's on ME. If my employees fuck up, I take the heat and give them a warning. They do it again...they're gone. But it all comes back to personal responsibility. I have a contract that my employees sign every year in which (amongst MANY other things) it states that they are to check their emails daily. Turns out...they don't. So when I send them an important email, I follow it up with a text letting them know. It is MY responsibility (as it is MY business) to make sure they know what their jobs are, what is expected of them, and give them the tools to succeed. If they screw something up, that is a reflection on ME, MY business, and MY training! I also don't EVER ask them to do things that I won't do. As the owner, it is MY job to do the "un-fun" and "un-glam" stuff, so that they can do their jobs. When my staff shines, I shine. I work my ass off for them, and they work their asses off for me.

There are a lot of "starving artists" out there for a reason. The reason is threefold: 1.) They're not good enough at what they do to earn a living at it, and should instead pursue it as a hobby. 2.) They're talented, but they struggle to market themselves and run a business. 3.) They're unprofessional, and think they can get by with their behavior because they're "an artist". If you are late to gigs, unprepared, don't show up when you say you will, don't deliver what you promise, carry yourself unprofessionally, do it for free for your buddies (with no return on your business), discount your pricing, copy other peoples work, don't run it like a business, don't invest in your craft and business, party with your patrons, THEN YOU WILL NEVER EARN A LIVING AS AN ARTIST!!!! Just because it's a "fun" job, doesn't mean you can treat it like playtime.

G

Group routines...Difficult, but worth it.

Many burlesque troupes are a collective of solo artists.  They travel and dance together, but rarely if ever share the stage with one another.  On occasion you'll see duets or trios, but even that is fairly rare.  Dancing large group numbers with 5-10 women like we do at Cin City Burlesque takes dedication, hard work, and some cahones. When someone screws up choreography in a solo, as long as they keep a poker face and keep moving no one will ever know. When just one person is slightly off time, out of place, or screws up choreography during a group number it stands out like a sore thumb. When just one girl misses rehearsal it throws the rest of the girls off of spacing and formations.  It takes endless hours working together, and lots of cash to put together all the costuming and props.  We have to find the right music, the right concept, the right costuming, the right stage, and the right girls for each and every separate group number.  Choreography is frequently changed based on formations, ability level, stage size, number of women, and to adjust the overall effect.  You have to stand back and let your eyes blur a bit to look at it as an entire piece, versus individual dancers sharing the stage.  If anyone stands out for any reason, we have to adjust it.  You have to develop a "group thought" process.  You start adjusting to each other instinctively.  You're more concerned about how the number looks overall...not how you specifically look.  We depend on each other, trust one another, and push each other. The choreography or costuming may not be the most difficult or intricate as some of the solos, but those are the numbers that the audience remembers.  They are what they come to see.  It is certainly not for everyone, but we love the end result.

G

You betta recognize!

I am not famous.  I am, however, recognizable. It's the hair (thank you, Eros Salon!).  If I wore a wig or a hat I could run in traffic naked and no one would have any clue it's me.  But it is ridiculously adorable when I run into people in public who recognize me.  Some whisper.  Some stare. Some cut a VERY wide path. Some come over and geek out.  But some of the greatest reactions stick with me... "I saw you at City Flea and you were wearing jeans just like a normal person!" "I wasn't sure it was you, but then you turned away from me and I saw your butt." Or maybe the best yet from a rather popular male bartender..."I know you!  You do this!" (shimmies shoulders wildly).  1.) Yes...I wear jeans.  And yes, I'm pretty much a normal person.  I just have a very weird job that requires Swarovski and eyelashes. 2.) I get it...I have a giant ass.  It's as recognizable as the hair.  3.) Yup.  I do do that.

I have mixed feelings about being recognized.  It's fine when I'm out to dinner or having a cocktail...I'm usually prepared for it, especially if I'm downtown or in northern Kentucky.  I'm way LESS prepared when one of my fitness clients asks her hairstylist for a cut like mine, and the stylist knows who I am  just based on THAT alone and "outs" me to the client , and then the client begins coming to shows.  And even worse is when I'm out running errands after teaching a cardio class and people want to come over and hug me.  ICK.  Poor peeps...they'll never see me the same way again.  They'll only picture me as sweaty and stinky and scary.

In general I adore meeting Cin City fans.  But I'm lucky I can even remember my own name...let alone someone else's . I hate disappointing people if I don't immediately recognize them or remember the details of how we met.  Hell...I still can't remember half of my employees names.  Half the time I make out their checks to "Blondie McBlonderson" and "Tits McGee"...so cut me some slack.

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A word on performer etiquette...according to yours truly.

I refuse to ask other performers and venues to "guest" perform in their shows...I just really think it's kind of pushy. I understand that in the burly business it's kind of standard practice, especially since there are mostly solo artists and small troupes out there, but I personally just don't like it.  We get booked because WE'RE asked to perform...either by a venue, or by other performers.  I would NEVER ask to "insert" myself into someone else's show they're putting blood, sweat, tears and money into. That being said...on the rare occasions we DO travel to other cities (we don't usually travel...that's a differnt blog post as to why not!), we ALWAYS ask in-town performers to guest star.  Why on earth wouldn't you?  They know the crowd, and will bring in fans.  We would never go to someone else's home city and just ask a performer, who's usually well-known in that city, to "kitten", or just promote our show.  I have never understood that...it just seems like an intentional "shitting on" of the home-town girls.  Are people intimidated?  Are they worried that people will like the home-town girl more than them?  I've got news for you....They will.  They know her and love her already.  And if you put on a good show, then why ever be worried about being "out-shone"? I've also traveled to perform in charity events, where I've spent my own money on gas, meals, hotels, and I've had numbers "cut" from the show because it was getting too long.  Now mind you, the producer of said show didn't cut a single one of her MANY numbers, but she felt ok cutting her guest performers who donated time and money.  NO.  Anytime we've had guest performers come in town, we've made DAMN sure they dance as much as possible.  We've cut our own numbers to assure it happens. Be pleasant backstage.  Share space.  Compliment each other.  Bring snacks for everyone.  Just don't be a diva.  It's not acceptable to be an asshole to your Sisters in Shimmy.

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It's hell getting old.

So my day job consists of teaching dance and group fitness.  You would think this would keep me in great shape.  It seems all it does is remind me of what I can no longer do.  Joints are getting creakier, muscles stay sore longer, and I get winded much easier.  I keep thinking I can turn back the clock with diet and exercise, but as a dancer you spend at least 20 years of your life abusing the hell out of your body...and there's just no cure for that.  I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to take better care of myself, but it's not to be.  Young dancers out there - take heed. You will need those knees and that back your entire life.  Don't abuse them.

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