Backstage Bedlam - What REALLY goes on back stage

I know the picture you have in your brain.  We sit daintily in front of a row of mirrors lined with lights, gaily applying our lipstick in feather-trimmed dressing gowns while sipping on champagne. I really hate to burst your bubble. ...but I'm gonna.

Most of our "dressing rooms" are dirty, freezing cold or 900 degrees, tiny and lacking mirrors of any sort. We change in green rooms, bathrooms, offices and storage closets. The floors are sticky. There's nowhere to put costuming down. There's rarely heat or A/C. And we're all right on top of each other. You have to be SUPER organized, tolerant and flexible. A sense of humor helps tremendously.

We usually have to bring our own full-length mirror for costume checks, and hand-held mirrors to touch up makeup. The lighting is always crappy...you come with your hair and makeup DONE.

We usually walk into a gig wearing comfortable shoes (your feet will be miserable the rest of the night), yoga pants (something loose that won't leave marks) and track jackets (something zip-front so you don't ruin your hair or face changing) with nude "safety g-string" underneath (this goes under your costuming and is taped down right before you hit the stage and right AFTER you've peed).

Once we get our costuming laid out in order and pre-load our pasties with tape,  we stretch and walk through choreography. We put props in order with the stagehands. We mic check and sound check. If it's a venue that's new to us we check out the stage. We take Tylenol. We drink water. We eat bananas. We have one (and ONLY one) cocktail.  Then you dress in your first costume and put your robe over it. Double check the set list. Kiss each other and pump each other up. Then it's off we go.

I wish I could paint pretty pictures for you of glitz and glamour,  feathers and flowers, chandeliers and champagne....but there it is.

G

What do you mean, I'm naked?

After so many years of performing,  you get used to walking around in little to no clothing. I've had entire conversations with people wearing nothing but a pair of heels and a smile. The problem with this is that you forget that maybe not everyone feels the same way.  You begin assuming that everyone is comfortable in nothing but their own skin. Every once in a while I'm reminded. .. by the new girl in the troupe who goes into the corner to change,  or the ladies in a workshop who giggle uncontrollably when they are asked to take a shirt off. What I don't understand is how we as a culture have come to this point.  There is nothing pornographic about the human form.  Why is a bikini ok,  but the second you take away
that tiny bit of material,  it suddenly becomes taboo? Why is our first instinct to try and cover ourselves and giggle like school girls?  So I say to you... that tiny slip of material fools no one. We know what's under it,  and sport the same bits. By aggressively trying to cover your pink bits you only draw attention to it. The second we stop feeling shame associated with the nude form is the second we are truly free.

G.