Punctuality. Learn it.

Anybody that knows me even the slightest bit knows this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.  Some people just skate by on "But that's just the way I am!"  BULLSHIT.  It's a habit.  It can be broken.  Set your clocks ahead.  Lay out your clothes early.  Put gas in your car the night before.  On occasion it cannot be helped...You get a flat tire, you have a sick kid, you break a heel as you walk out the door...I get it.  But generally it's the same people over and over again.  By you being late, you're telling me that your time is more valuable than mine.  That it's ok for me to wait on you, because you're clearly more important than I am.  It's unprofessional, inconsiderate and downright rude.  My girls have a contract with me that they sign yearly.  In it there is a punctuality clause.  For every minute they are late to rehearsal, they run 3 flights of stairs in their heels.  Generally, they are only late one time.  After two times, I pull them off the schedule.  Not only are they wasting MY time, but there are another 10 girls waiting on them as well.  It's just TOTALLY unacceptable.   As one of my girls put it, "To be early is to be on time.  To be on time is to be late.   And to be late is to run the stairs in heels."

G

Ostrich.

So...people frequently confuse being introverted with being shy.  I'm certainly not shy.  Or quiet.  Or timid.  But I am an introvert.  I need alone time to recharge my batteries.  I generally prefer to be one on one with people.  I hate dealing with large crowds.  Any conversations that involve more than 3 people at once and I just sort of shut down.  I'm still absorbing most of what's being said, but I usually don't add to the conversation at all.  People that don't know me well assume I'm tired, or not feeling well, or just being pissy.  And I usually just let that assumption go, because it's way easier to tell people that I'm physically exhausted than mentally and emotionally exhausted from dealing with the situation I'm currently in.  One of my sisters who knows me well calls it ostrich time...she knows that if I just disappear for a few days and stick my head in the sand that it's nothing personal. It doesn't mean I'm mad at her or that I don't want to spend time with her... I just need it to be able to function.  So if you run into me out socially (that would be a minor miracle) and I'm sitting alone in a corner not speaking, don't take offense.

G

ALS ice bucket challenge...Cin City style

Cin City Burlesque accepts the ALS ice bucket chal: http://youtu.be/Mprs1mQQhGk

"Hot" is not a compliment.

I hate when men use "hot" to compliment a woman on their appearance.  It's generic. It's juvenile.  It's lazy.  It doesn't say anything about what you find attractive about that person.  Do you find her sexy?  Beautiful?  Cute?  Striking? Those are different things. What is it about her that you think is sexy? Beautiful?  Cute? Striking? If you think she has cute feet, say so. If you think the curve of her hip is sexy, say so. If you think her eyes are striking,  say so. If you think her smile is beautiful,  say so. Trust me...she'll take the compliment better.

G

It's been 5 years...

I just got a little misty-eyed driving to the studio. I was thinking back to the first show Cin City Burlesque produced 5 years ago...it was in a tiny little studio with maybe 25 people there, and we danced maybe 9 numbers total. God, we have grown SO much! We have employed over 25 performers over the years, booked over 100 shows, taught over 200 women in workshops, raised over $10,000 for charities, and entertained thousands. Thank you, Cincinnati, for embracing us and making us the successful troupe we are today. Words can't describe how in awe of your support and how grateful we are every day.  We cannot WAIT to celebrate with you with some fan favorites and a brand new closing number with over 20,000 crystals at Bogart's on Saturday, June 7th.  We promise...it will be a show to remember.

G

Burlesque Show Etiquette

Many of you reading my posts have been to a burlesque show.  Some of you have not.  For those of you Noobs, lemme take a minute to school you of the do's and don'ts.
1) It is absolutely appropriate to hoot, holler, cat call and yell.  In fact, it is encouraged.  The performer feeds directly off of the audience reaction.  It's hard to keep your energy up on stage when it's crickets in the house.
2) It is never appropriate to touch the performer unsolicited.  There may be times a performer will take your hand, or have you remove a glove for them...but don't take this task upon yourself.  And if you do touch the performer, expect to be expelled forcibly from the venue.
3) Drinking is a good thing...in doses.  No performer appreciates some over-indulgent audience member becoming a jackass.
4) No.  You may not keep that discarded glove that landed in your lap.
5) Tipping the performers vary based on the venue and the performers themselves.  If tipping IS involved at a show, leave the money on the edge of the stage so as not to interrupt the performer during their routine.  Many hours of costuming and choreography went into it...don't ruin it by expecting them to drop what they've been rehearsing just to take a dollar out of your hand.
6) Come with an open mind and a sense of humor.  Expect both to be tested.
7) You will see all walks of life both on stage and off.  Be respectful to both the performers on stage as well as the audience members.
8) No. You will not be getting a lap dance.
9) Show tickets can be expensive.  Frequently props and costumes for just one number can run the girls anywhere from $200-$500...so consider a $25 ticket a bargain.
10) If you heckle the MC, expect to be heckled back.  They are quick and witty and have tongues as sharp as blades.  You will NOT win that exchange.
11) Be open to the possibility that a show will change your views on women, beauty and social issues.

Bottom line - Until you've experienced a good burlesque show, don't assume you know what you're getting into.  Some people leave after two numbers in.  Others leave with their cheeks hurting from smiling and laughter.  And a select few leave with a life-changing experience under their belts.  Which one will you be?

G

Walk with a purpose.

I used to have a incredible sales trainer when I was managing a studio by the name of Jacques DeBeve.  For a ballroom dancer, he was odd looking - he was short, round, and kind of resembled Santa.  But as a salesman, he could sell ice to Eskimos. One of the many things Jacques said that stuck with me was that one should always "Walk with a purpose."  He, being a sales trainer, framed it within the context of planning and selling programs.  But it struck a chord with me.  Both literally and figuratively.  Being short, I tend to take long and quick strides when I walk.  I move around people that are slowing me down.  I have somewhere to be and something to do. But everything I do in life, I have an end goal.  I'm not ok with just meandering aimlessly.  I'm sure it has it's moments of being detrimental...but I can't help it.  I've always been a driven person.  That's the only way one can succeed in business and in life.  Nothing is handed to me.  I don't sit around hoping and wishing something will happen.  It's up to me to make it so.  But in order to do that, you have to be able to play the long game.  If you're only making decisions from minute-to-minute or even day-to-day, you're going to miss the big picture.  Every step that you take should be taking you closer to that end goal.  What's your purpose?  Are you taking steps to reach your final destination, or are you just wandering aimlessly?

G

I am ridiculously bad at being hip.

Amongst certain crowds and certain areas, I'm recognizable around town.  It's the hair.  If I wore a wig or a hat no one would know who the hell I was. As it is, I can rarely even go to the damn grocery store without someone doing the raised eyebrows in recognition or yelling "Ginger!" at the top of their lungs.  The problem with this is that I'm an introvert.  I hate crowds, and dealing with a conversation of more than 2 or 3 people makes me nuts.  I'm more of a "see" than "be seen" girl.  I don't usually hang out at the trendy spots in town, and when I do I frequently regret it.  I enjoy people watching, but I'm much more of a one-on-one gal...as long as the person I'm with doesn't feel like THEY need to "be seen", then we're all good.  I'm constantly being pushed by my girls to get out and network more.  But I see some of these social climbers that are at every effing event, with 87 photobooth pictures at said event, 22 selfies posted on their Instagram, and tagging themselves and every other person they know at the location.  I just feels shallow and forced and a little strange to me. I don't know if it's my age or just my personality that causes me to cringe at this.  I just would rather be at some empty bar with a few people that I love and adore and not a camera (or phone for that matter) in sight. Otherwise it starts to feel like work...and I don't work for free.

G

"Should"

Should.  It's a powerful word.  It can be the cause of responsible adult behavior.  We SHOULD go to work every day.  We SHOULD pay our taxes.  It can also be the cause of guilt.  You SHOULD go see your mother.  You SHOULD have that mole checked out by a doctor.  But it also tends to cause us to live our lives by the expectations set by society.  You SHOULD get married and have children.  You SHOULD wear a size 4.  You SHOULD go to college and have a set career path based on your degree.  I, being Type A, can get on board with the responsible behavior. (Struggling to pay your rent?  Stop going out to a bar every effing night of the week.  Welcome to adulthood.  It can suck here.)  I, being raised Catholic, can get behind a little bit of niggling guilt that resides at the back of the head...it tends to keep us honest.  But what I cannot abide is the third version of "should".  I'm not saying everyone that fits in societies set molds is a sheep...that is certainly not the case.  Some folks that are prototypical "shoulds" are perfectly happy and content because the life they live is what they desire.  But....I look around and see an awful lot of people living their lives according to what they "should" be doing according to our society, and not what they WANT to be doing.  But breaking the mold always causes a mess.  Some people can't handle the fall out and instead, to quote Thoreau, "lead lives of quiet desperation". They can't take the mess, the disarray, and the backlash and instead fall in line.  I challenge you...take stock of your life.  How much is what you "should" be doing, and how much is what you WANT to be doing?

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw - "Why are we 'shoulding' all over ourselves?"

G

Selfies...?

Ok.  I get taking a selfie every once in a blue moon....Your hair looks exceptionally awesome, you love your new outfit, the place you're at is amazing, etc.  Ok.  I can certainly live with that.  But taking 3-4 pictures of yourself (Well...POSTING 3-4 pictures of yourself.  I have to assume you took WAY more than that and just posted the "good" ones.) DAILY?  "Here I am in my bathroom!"  "Here I am in my car!" "Here I am at the grocery store!"  "Here I am in bed!"  SERIOUSLY?  I just don't get it.  Are you that self-absorbed that you think everyone wants to know what you're doing every 4 hours?  Or are you that insecure and you're hoping people will comment on how great you look?  Which is it?  I just can't think of any other reason other than those two.  I'm not saying there isn't one...but I sure as shit can't think of it.  And I'm guessing that if you have another reason for it...it's still one of the two reasons I gave is the underlying issue.   But I think this goes back once again to the culture we're creating.  We are so far beyond self-absorbed that it's getting ridiculous.  We are in a "see and be seen" decade.  Why must we always make it about US?  For example...Some of my troupe and I were at a fundraiser recently for an individual that is winning an award BECAUSE of the fundraising they do for the local community. During the event, the Emcee recognized us and wanted to call us up on stage to introduce us.  Instead, we demurred.  We were NOT there to be recognized or to self-promote.  We were there to support an OUTSTANDING member of the community whom we adore.  It wasn't about us.  But I feel that's lost on most people.  It seems anymore that we won't go somewhere or do something unless we're going to be recognized in some way for it.  Listen, selfie-overload folks...We ALL do pretty much the same shit from day to day.  Some of us get to do more unusal stuff from day to day, and some don't.  But in general, no one cares about your selfies.  They're all too busy posing in front of their own cameras to care about what you're posting.

G

Lessons on Listening

I spent some time recently with a person that reminded me of a serious societal issue that seems to be becoming more and more prevalent: We no longer know how to listen. This person was cutting me off left and right, and talking about things that had nothing to do with the content of the conversation.  It seems while I spoke they weren't listening to a word I said because they were too busy putting together their next sentence....and clearly had to express themselves before I stopped speaking. Those who know me know I'm a bit of an interviewer as a result of selling and teaching dance lessons for years. When you are trying to assemble a program for your student you need to find out what your clients thoughts, feelings, motives and goals are. You can only accomplish this by asking questions,  LISTENING to what they do AND do not say, then asking more questions based on their response. I tend to take this same approach when I hold conversations with people.  It allows me to ACTUALLY get to know a person,  and they appreciate that I'm actually interested in what they're saying. I'm listening to them...I'm not in my own head thinking of some clever line to spit out.  People love talking about themselves.  They always have.  But with this egocentric "selfie" absorbed world we're living in these days, it seems to be getting exceptionally worse. It seems,  with few exceptions,  that I can't sit down with someone and have a two-way conversation.  It's them talking,  and me actively listening and "funneling" the conversation.  The second we finish a topic,  they are immediately on their phone,  or looking to see who else they know in the room. It makes me absolutely nuts. When I intend to spend time with someone,  I put the Goddamn phone away. That person has my focus.  I'm not looking around trying to see who else is walking into the room.  Jesus himself could walk in. Unless he's standing over the shoulder of the person I'm speaking with I'm not going to see him. As a result of this becoming the social norm, very few people will actually ever get to know me. I'm not much of a talker to begin with...You add in this type of behavior and I immediately clam up.  It's not worth wasting my breath...they're not paying attention to what I'm saying anyway.  To those of you who are guilty of this - I challenge you. Put the phone away.  Ask questions. Let them finish their sentences.  LISTEN ACTIVELY.  Ask more questions. Look them in the eye. You know how great you feel when someone is genuinely interested in what you're saying?  The person on the other end of your conversation likes that as well. People don't remember you for what you do...they remember you for how you made them feel.

G

Hammerheads

When we first founded CCB in 2009, we were a team of 8 trained professional dancers...5 women and 3 men. The men (The Hammerheads) were the significant others of three of the other troupe members and were all three professional ballroom dancers. Sassy and I choreographed their first number to Sixteen Tons, and outfitted them in coveralls,  hard hats with tap lights on the front,  and pretty substantial prop sledgehammers tailored to their hight. The first rehearsal was nothing short of comedic genius (Why do we not record this shit?). The boys struggled to learn our choreography for some reason.  Then we added props and costuming to deal with and it was full-on chaos. No one got frustrated or lost their sense of humor,  but it certainly did not go as smoothly as we expected.  But two months later when the boys stepped on stage for our first gig in front of a packed house it was beyond deafening.  People fell in love immediately.  For the next show we added a fourth male dancer...a talented student of one of the Hammerheads who was an incredibly animated performer. This time they did their own choreography.  Once again they had people on their feet. Over several shows, we brought in 3 other male dancers as well.  Alas, two of the guys bought dance studios, and trying to wrangle schedules for rehearsal times became too much of a challenge.  They didn't officially "disband" per se, but real life got in the way. The boys still come to shows and consistently talk of getting something together....we can only hope they'll join us back onstage at some point.  They are certainly missed.

G

No stage time for G...and here's why.

Many of you ask why I'm not on stage more during our shows.  I have several answers to that. 1) Every time I take the stage and am not backstage directing traffic the show slows down and something goes wrong. Back stage I am the traffic controller. I keep in constant communication between the sound booth, lighting,  the stage hands and curtain man, the emcee and the performers. If just one of those communications are missed between a single number then something goes wrong. The music starts early...the emcee isn't sure when the next act is ready....the curtain is still opening when the act has started...we're missing a prop...All of the components rely on the stage manager. And that would be me. 2) I always put my own numbers off until the very last second because I'm too busy putting together group and solo choreography for the rest of the girls,  cutting music and putting together the lineup,  putting together sound, lighting and stagehands directions,  gathering costuming and prop pieces, working with the venue on marketing and ticket sales, getting merchant together and pricing it out, and updating social media. My solos are the absolute LAST thing I think about.  They're such an afterthought that it's not fair to the audience OR me. 3) I'm getting too old for this shit. Everything hurts all the time and I'm losing out to gravity. It's a young woman's game,  and I no longer qualify.  4) This was ALWAYS my intention.  I never wanted to spend the rest of my days on stage. I enjoy the production end more than the performance end...I always have. My intention was always to dance a few years, build up a strong troupe,  then slowly back off stage. I have 9 other girls that would LOVE to be on stage all damn night. It's my intention to give them as much time in the spotlight that they want and deserve. My time has come and gone. I'm certainly ok with it. In fact, I'm thrilled.  I just hope everyone can be as happy for me as I am.

G