Take It on the Chin - Adventures in Snarky Audience Members

I originally wrote this in June of 2013 after a small night club show consisting solely of solos...but I thought I'd share it again. 

Sooooo....we had SUCH an amazing audience last night!  I got to meet SOOOO many awesome women last night (and even a few good guys too). We had a TON of new audience members that were SO lovely and friendly and incredibly sweet. We had an AMAZING group of ladies out celebrating a birthday who insisted on buying us drinks. We met two LOVELY girls from Nashville who raved about how this had been their favorite part of their trip.  I've said it time and time again...our female audience members are the ones we play to.  All I ever want from a show is that a woman looks at herself, and other women, in a new light.  I hope that when she leaves, she loves herself and her body a little bit more.

But apparently there was a detractor in the audience who rolled her eyes, made nasty little comments, and was trying desperately to draw other audience members into her little hate spiral.  Little did she know, at the table she kept trying to draw in sat one of my kick-ass female stage hands (a.k.a. Ninjas or Bitch Monkeys), the guy that runs my merch booth, and my husband.  As told to me via these three very trusted peeps, she would continuously turn to them, roll her eyes, and say, "This is the WORST burlesque show I've ever seen." They, being class acts, would just smile back at her.  After my second solo, which includes a high fan kick, side tango lunges to the floor, a double spiral turn and a stag leap (all in 4-inch heels), my husband felt the need to respond to said woman: "Lady if you can do any of that I'll give you my house."  To which she responded, "Oh. Well....I don't dance."

When the girls and I came out into the audience after the show, my hubby and comrades were FUMING mad.  In fact, he continues bringing it up this morning. My girls and I, however, just shrugged.  "Eh. We're not for everyone."  We know, after doing this for years, that 1) Not everyone is going to get it. 2) Not everyone is going to like it. 3) Some people are just easily offended. 4) People think we are trying to turn on their significant other and get jealous and possessive.  (Trust me, we're not.) 5) A lot of times people project their own insecurities on you.  6) A lot of women don't like to see other women succeed.  We didn't get upset, we didn't confront the woman in any way (who, weirdly enough, came into the show quite intentionally, and stayed until 2:00 a.m.), and we didn't try to make her feel uncomfortable.  She has her own hangups...there's no reason to add to it.

The following quote is from my Ignite Cincinnati speech earlier this month:

"You have to be able to take it on the chin. You're putting both your art AND your body out there. You're going to have critics at every single show. Some of them won't get it. Some of them will not like it. And some of them will have insecurities that they'll project onto you. People can be snarky, cruel and just downright mean. You have to realize you're not everyone's cup of tea, and don't take it personally."

I think it's a good lesson to learn in life.  Frequently when people are nasty it has nothing to do with you. Usually it's about them.  Think about that before you react to it.  They're already having a bad day...try not to add to it by allowing them to bait you into a confrontation.

G